No 4. Are you alone?

I moved to another country when I was 17. I wanted to change my life completely. I wanted to feel that my life depended totally on me. I came with a couple of "friends".But this was not a real friendship.

After four years I moved to another city completely alone. No friends, no job, no one. Just me and everything new to me. I worked hard and worked a lot not to think about my loneliness.

Maybe it sounds strange but it was hard for me to make friends. Not because people did not want me. But I found them not interesting to me. I needed someone who would see the same I see. With whom I can create something huge. And the one I can completely trust. But my search led nowhere. I felt alone all the time. I went to sleep and got up with this feeling.

I did not understand - what was wrong with me? Psychology says socializing makes us happier, and healthier and keeps us alive longer. Hard to argue. So once again - what is wrong with me?

This was some time ago but I still remember like it was yesterday. Then suddenly I understood something. It is OK to be alone. It does not mean anything. Nor that you are a loser or a weirdo. It is OK to be an introvert and live in your little world.

From the very beginning of our lives, we have been taught that we must make friends and socialize. And if you do not do this people think that you are not "normal" or have some issues. Almost no one will tell you to value your time. You have to be careful who you devote your time to and who you surround yourself with. You can not take your time back. Your environment is more important than you can even imagine.

Stop desperately trying to find someone. Stop being scared of being alone. Instead of spreading your energy out keep it for yourself and teach yourself to be your own best friend. Teach yourself to spend time happily. Read an interesting book, go to the cinema, invite yourself to an exquisite dinner, learn how to make the best coffee or tea, or whatever you like.

I was worried if I am not an extrovert type maybe I will miss some opportunities or really good acquaintances. But life taught me when you are looking for an opportunity or trying to make changes in life you would get them no matter what. I got my chances from people I barely knew. I met my closest people when I was not looking for them. I did not even think about it. But every situation has one common fact - I was honest with myself. I was not trying to be impressive or make someone like me.

The most funny thing is when you appreciate yourself being alone you do not need people anymore. You are great. But they start to need you.

Life is going to change when you will be honest with yourself. Sometimes it is enormously hard to look into your eyes and accept the truth. But this is the only way to find your life path and value every second. Because it is you. No matter what other people think or say.

Life is tough but you are doing great.

xxx M.